I’m not really here today. But you’re in good hands, so don’t panic. Nicola Morgan will look after you, seeing as she’s stopped off on her etour (Which is not the same as detour. I think.) to tell you, and me, about her new-old ebook, Mondays are Red.

‘It shouldn’t happen to an author but if you write for young people, it will. Usually during a school event. There was the librarian who, escorting me towards the hall where 120 pupils were waiting, said shakily, “Don’t worry if they behave really badly. Even the toughest teachers find this year-group impossible.” And the time a boy was carried kicking and struggling from the class by two burly teachers. The times when people have fainted. (I blame Fleshmarket for that.) The time when, during Q&A, after I’d talked for 45 minutes and was now waiting for questions of inspired percipience, a boy…

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